Google
 
Web jonathanandwanda.blogspot.com

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Iraq Karate Official Kidnapped

BAGHDAD, Iraq -- The head of Iraq's karate union has been kidnapped south of Baghdad, sports officials said Saturday. Ali Shakir was abducted Thursday afternoon in Latifiyah, about 20 miles south of Baghdad, while on his way home, said Ahmed Hashim, an Iraq Olympic committee official.

Gunmen wearing police uniforms and manning a fake checkpoint stopped Shakir's car, ordered his mother out, then drove away with him, said Capt. Muthana Khalid, a spokesman for the Babil police. It was not clear why Shakir was kidnapped, but insurgents have frequently targeted members of the U.S.-backed Iraqi government. The Iraqi Union of Karate is a government agency.


We now go inside terrorist camp for inside scoop on what is happening.

Terrorist 1: "You must help us ... America is already kicking our ass and now some of our bretheren have pissed off England"
Terrorist 2: "allah akbar - allah akbar - allah akbar!"
Terrorist 1: "please ... you must be to helping us fight"
Shakir : "uuummmmmmm ... yah ... ok ... wax on - wax off"
Terrorist 2: "did he just be to instructing us to wack off?"
Terrorist 1: "we must be to knowing kung - fu"
Terrorist 2: "huh?"
Shakir: "very good ... ok now ... paint fence"
Terrorist 1: "will this be to helping us not be slaughtered by the Americans?"
Terrorist 2: "death to zionist pigs!!!"
Terrorist 1: "allah be praised ... we will soon be ... what is that move?"
Terrorist 2: "allah akbar - allah akbar - allah akbar!"
Shakir: "ah yes ... the famous serve the squishie move. This is dangerous because it causes your enemy severe brain freeze."
Terrorist 1: "yes yes ... we must be to learning this. allah akbar! victory is ours!"
Terrorist 2: "allah akbar - allah akbar - allah akbar!"
Shakir: "ok ... you did that perfectly ... one final move to become expert. This is the most powerful move you can possess. It is called the 'Matrix bullet dodge' move."
Terrorist 1: "what must we be doing to learn this?"
Shakir: "You must slow everything down with your thoughts. Focus ... Then you just lay back while the bullets fly over and around you."
Terrorist 2: "allah akbar - allah akbar - allah akbar!"
Terrorist 1: "we must use this move. allah be praised!"
Shakir: "ok ... aim at each other ... concentrate ... focus ..."
Terrorist 2: "allah akbar - allah akbar - allah akbar!"
Terrorist 1: "allah akbar - allah akbar - allah akbar!"

RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TA-TA-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-

Shakir: "hello ... yes operator ... I need a cab and ... well ... just a cab ..."

Listed on BlogShares